"White Oleander with a side of Separation Anxiety"

I must admit, I get most of these book ideas from a list I made during my pregnancy on goodreads.com. And to be even more honest, I compiled most of this list from Oprah's Book Club...which I started in college. I have read a couple of the books on the list, and barring the book A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle (which I couldn't get past the first 2 pages of due to my own religious beliefs), they have all been great.

Anyhow, I remember seeing this movie in high school, and all that ever stuck with me was that the narrator, Astrid, had one smart mouth. It didn't occur to me (or at least I don't remember it doing so) that this girl went through hell.

The story begins with Astrid living with her mother, Ingrid, the most narcissistic character I have ever read about. She is a poet and basically her own god. Anyway, she starts dating this man named Barry Kolker. Barry, per the author, is not an attractive man by any means. Ingrid falls in love with him anyway and susbsequently kills him when he begins ignoring her and replaces her with other beautiful, young women. This is the beginning of Astrid's foster care story.

That's right foster care. God knows I didn't choose to read about the life I live every day. For those of you who may not know, I provide child welfare case management for our county's Children's Services. Foster care is a term talked about all day. I gotta say that the kids on my caseload are in great homes; Astrid's story is the epitome of that one story we have all heard. You know, the one involving rape/consensual sex by/with the man in the house, further physical/mental abuse, residential facilities, even suicide of a foster parent who truly loves and adores you (okay, so that's a little far reaching, but, unfortunately, this happens to Astrid).

Despite these circumstances, Astrid rises above it all and becomes a woman in tune with her craft (art) and lives her life after aging out of the system. It kind of put my job and life into perspective. It made me think about how my life has been relatively easy since I've never been raped or physically or mentally abused. It kinda inspires me to want to tell my teens in foster care about this book. I firmly believe that, if you allow it, your past will shape your present and possibly your future. I also believe that YOU have the power to change it. You can't change your past, but the present is now. Do something (positive) now.

Speaking of now, separation anxiety blows. Never has my son cried for me when I left him at daycare/home with his dad/etc. I never really wanted the day to come, but someone PLEASE explain to me when that day DID come, I wasn't the one he was crying for. HE WAS CRYING FOR HIS GRANDMOTHER! I felt robbed. =[ He eventually did cry for me the following day, but the newness had worn off. (Ok, I'm lying. Walking away from my child as he is walking towards me with outstretched arms and crying was devastating and I'm glad it's only happened once).