"White Oleander with a side of Separation Anxiety"

I must admit, I get most of these book ideas from a list I made during my pregnancy on goodreads.com. And to be even more honest, I compiled most of this list from Oprah's Book Club...which I started in college. I have read a couple of the books on the list, and barring the book A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle (which I couldn't get past the first 2 pages of due to my own religious beliefs), they have all been great.

Anyhow, I remember seeing this movie in high school, and all that ever stuck with me was that the narrator, Astrid, had one smart mouth. It didn't occur to me (or at least I don't remember it doing so) that this girl went through hell.

The story begins with Astrid living with her mother, Ingrid, the most narcissistic character I have ever read about. She is a poet and basically her own god. Anyway, she starts dating this man named Barry Kolker. Barry, per the author, is not an attractive man by any means. Ingrid falls in love with him anyway and susbsequently kills him when he begins ignoring her and replaces her with other beautiful, young women. This is the beginning of Astrid's foster care story.

That's right foster care. God knows I didn't choose to read about the life I live every day. For those of you who may not know, I provide child welfare case management for our county's Children's Services. Foster care is a term talked about all day. I gotta say that the kids on my caseload are in great homes; Astrid's story is the epitome of that one story we have all heard. You know, the one involving rape/consensual sex by/with the man in the house, further physical/mental abuse, residential facilities, even suicide of a foster parent who truly loves and adores you (okay, so that's a little far reaching, but, unfortunately, this happens to Astrid).

Despite these circumstances, Astrid rises above it all and becomes a woman in tune with her craft (art) and lives her life after aging out of the system. It kind of put my job and life into perspective. It made me think about how my life has been relatively easy since I've never been raped or physically or mentally abused. It kinda inspires me to want to tell my teens in foster care about this book. I firmly believe that, if you allow it, your past will shape your present and possibly your future. I also believe that YOU have the power to change it. You can't change your past, but the present is now. Do something (positive) now.

Speaking of now, separation anxiety blows. Never has my son cried for me when I left him at daycare/home with his dad/etc. I never really wanted the day to come, but someone PLEASE explain to me when that day DID come, I wasn't the one he was crying for. HE WAS CRYING FOR HIS GRANDMOTHER! I felt robbed. =[ He eventually did cry for me the following day, but the newness had worn off. (Ok, I'm lying. Walking away from my child as he is walking towards me with outstretched arms and crying was devastating and I'm glad it's only happened once).

"He's Just Not That Into You & Teething"

I bought this book, written by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, under false pretenses. Okay, so maybe not, but I thought this book would be like the movie. I heard the movie was a great chick flick. Had no clue that this book was a compilation of Q&A. I was sorely disappointed, but since it was only 3 CD's (a total of 4 hours), I gave it a whirl.

It was actually a wee bit enlightening despite the fact that I found it absolutely hilarious that women as ridiculous as these women sounded were actually writing in to ask, "Greg, I met a man 2 weeks ago, but he has not called. Should I call him? Is he into me?" You fool. What's surprising is that I felt myself answering the questions before Greg even got there.

The book wasn't as cheesy as it sounds. There were actual legit excuses that we women tend to make for men. "He's not into family so he hasn't met mine...even though it's been 2 years," or, "But I really like him when he's drunk, even though I've rarely seen him sober." C'mon now. I can't say that I haven't made an excuse for a guy. I think part women innately do this because we want to give men the benefit of the doubt. I think the biggest reason we do this, however, is that we are too afrad to assert ourselves. Ya know, stand up for what we want, heck, what we need, and what is right. As I was listening to this book, it really made me think about somethings. Though I don't think every situation is as black and white as Greg says it is, I do think he is pretty darn accurate. I mean, he is a guy after all. Let's not waste the pretty ladies!

Anywho...

This is what I remember of my son's smile. No teeth. No morning breath. No miniature teeth to brush (with great resistance).

This was about 6 months ago. Ain't he cute? Yea, well this what that gummy little smile turned into...

And this wasn't even that bad ('Scuse the jacked polish job on my nail). Not too much fussiness. Just wanting to chew on his teething ring (his "chew toy" as my imbecile brother put it).

Fast forward, oooh, 3 months...
...and this is what we have. 4 teeth (bottom 2 not pictured). Cute, but do you know what we WENT THROUGH just to get those 4 teeth??? I will never for the life of me understand how in the WORLD a child gets so stinkin sick from TEETH! I get the crankiness, whininess, yada yada yada. Heck, I have a wisdom tooth that has been kicking my tail off and on for years now and when it starts to hurt, I want nothing more than to be held...or lay in my bed all day. But I mean the diarrhea every 10 minutes, the boogers, the coughing. All for some TEETH? Someone rationalize this for me please! All in all he has the cutest smile I've ever seen. Now if only the rest of those turkeys would come through!

He's 1 & "The Shack"

Ok, so I know that I slacked off. Big Time. My baby blog was last updated in May 2009. That's horrible and I apologize. Will you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?

Now that that's over, I am committing to start 2010 to discuss 2 loves of my heart; my son and books. That's right, your girl is Mother Bookworm. These days I rarely have time to actually read a book (at least anything that's not a textbook) so I listen to them on CD in my car. This works especially well since I spend a ton of time in my car driving for my job (for which I also spend a LOT of money for car insurance for...but I digress).

So here's the deal. I am going to, "read," a book, post my thoughts/feelings, and give an update of the little one. This should work for all my friends and family members who want to know what's going on in the life of my 13-month old (can you believe it??). On the other hand, I get to talk about one other thing in my life that brings me joy...books.

Let's begin.

This book came to me by way of a recommendation from a friend. It came to her by recommendation of a trainer whose session we'd taken together. I must admit that I had heard about this book before, but couldn't quite remember what it had been known for. After reading this book, I now understand.

Let me begin this by saying that I grew up a nondenominational Christian. We believe not in religion, but relationship with God and Jesus Christ. This concept is key to this novel. The author, William P. Young, brings a very new and fresh concept to the idea of being in a relationship with God.

The premise of this novel begins with a father, Mack, who takes his 3 children camping. Everything is going fine and dandy until one of his children, Kate, decides she wants to go canoeing. She takes her brother with her. Missy, the third child hangs back to color. Unfortunately, something goes awry in the water and Mack's son begins to drown. Mack leaves his post with Missy to immediately assist in his son. While all of this is going on, (STOP HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS)...

...Missy is subsequently kidnapped and murdered by the Ladybug Killer. The story continues from there in all the ways that a normal murder mystery occurs; the search party, the FBI, the town PD, all that. But the story only begins when Mack, back home from his camping trip sans his youngest daughter, and receives a letter in the mailbox from "Papa," (the nickname used by his wife, Nan, to mean God). Mack is told in this letter to go back to the shack where Missy was murdered.

Of course Mack goes. This is where the story really takes off from being, what I think, to be a mystery of what happened to Missy to the mystery of who is this Holy Trinity anyway? Mack encounters God, who happens to appear as a female, Jesus, as an Arab, and the Holy Ghost (named Sarayu...meaning wind). Mack spends a weekend with the three learning more about himself and letting go of the past.

This book really touched me. I am not taking everything this book says as Bible, but it really showed me the type of relationship I would want to have with God. It really surprised me that this novel was fiction because it had so many non-fiction inspirational nuggets. It forced the main character to drop his luggage at the door (this includes his anger toward God for his daughter's death), and open his heart to who God could really be for him. Too many times, I think that most people (Christians included) think of God as this far away being who is untouchable. In fact, this is not the way it should be. God should be (and honestly, really is) as close as is possible. He's ALWAYS there.

One thing that stood out to me in this book is the topic of forgiveness. I have been through a lot in my short time here on earth and boy have I had to forgive people for a lot of things. I always wondered how God could know everything, yet he forgets our sins. It never made sense. This book opened my eyes to this a little. It implies that God OBVIOUSLY remembers and knows, but yet He chooses to not think about it and looks at us as the repentant children that we are. How awesome to think that someone knows about ALL our mess yet STILL loves us. That's unconditional love, people!

I highly recommend this book for everyone, not just Christians. Actually, ESPECIALLY not just Christians. It's an eye opener to non-believers and believers alike. I am so delighted that I kicked off my year with this book!

And now the moment you have all been waiting for... THE MAN! I am proud to say that my little boy is 13 months old (14 months on 01/29/10). He is walking and saying "bye bye" (with a wave might I add!). He says dada, mama (which sometimes sounds more like baba...can't win 'em all), up, as well as other non-distinguishable syllables.

Most recently, HE IS OFF FORMULA! Woohoo!! I have yet to see what that will do for my bank account, but man, I can't wait!

He was 20lbs at his 1 year appointment as well as 26 and some change inches. (Poor kid, I don't think he has much of a chance height wise. Sorry!) He's an all around amazing child and as a good friend of mine put it, my, "accidental happily ever after."